"A highly elusive nocturnal specie of spider mainly from the Tennessee area (also known as the Tennessee barking Spider). While no live specimens have been caught in order to be studied, this is the only spider known to man with the capability to "bark". These spiders are attracted by the scent of bratwurst and sour kraut and also been known to emerge on taco Tuesdays. While you may not see them, you will hear them and at times feel them scurrying through the couch cushions. They do use a foul odor as a defensive mechanism. Beware the silent Tennessee barking spider, it is a deadly sub-specie and should be avoided at all costs."
"What farts are blamed on when there is no dog available."
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