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Mission 1224 shall be designated a night launch originating at zero degrees latitude.

The Simple Launch Egress Ingress orbiter vehicle (SLEI 1) is designated for use on this mission. SLEI 1 is powered by 8 secondary and 1 primary RNDR’s. The RNDR’s are fueled by organic accelerated tinder.

The mission commander shall assume the role of Systems Command Launch and Unilateral Support, or S-CLAUS.

At launch minus 58 minutes, feed valves RNDR-1A through RNDR-9A are opened by the External Launch Vehicle Support personnel.

At launch minus 43 minutes, ELVS personnel under direction of the mission S-CLAUS ensure that all manifested cargo is loaded aboard and secured in the cargo bay.

At launch minus 14 minutes, all feed valves are closed, and the 8 secondary RNDR’s are maneuvered into pre-designated positions forward of Sleigh 1, parallel to the X axis. The installation of the secondary RNDR’s is followed immediately by the installation of the primary RNDR in the extreme forward X axis position.

At launch minus 11 seconds, the S-CLAUS commands the illumination of the red RNDR-1 launch light. The commander then manually pulls the RNDR Activation Initialization Geo Norms, or RAIGN’s, which initiates lift-off.

At launch, Sleigh 1 is targeted to the apex of the launch window porch, and at launch plus 15 seconds, retargeted to the azimuth of the glide slope wall.

At launch plus 37 seconds the digital auto pilot is engaged, and the vehicle is upmoded to the “Dash Away All” mode. At this point, the S-CLAUS verifies that all mission launch parameters have been successfully executed. If lights are green, and go for the mission, the command is issued by the mission commander “Merry Christmas to all, and an uneventful rest period”


I laughed. If you can find the audio clip of this, read like the commentators on the NASA Channel, it's even funnier.

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