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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
Marry It!

What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A battery has a positive side.

Why is the space between a woman's breasts and her hips called a waist?
Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there..

How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?
Put a nipple on it.

Why do women fake orgasms ?
Because they think men care.

If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you done wrong?
Made her chain too long

Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.

Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.

Why do men pass gas more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first ?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%..
It's called a Wedding Cake.

Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
 

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What's that useless piece of skin around a vagina called?
A woman.
 

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Why do 54,000 women go to the battered wives shelter every year?
They don't fucking listen.....
 

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How's a woman like a box of chicken?




Once you are done with the legs, breasts, and thighs, there is nothing left but a greasy box to stick your bone in.
 

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What do you tell the woman who has two black eyes?

Nothing. Someone already told her twice.


What's that same woman doing?

Dishes, laundry or cooking if she has any fuckin sense.
 

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What do you call a woman with one black eye?
A quick learner.
 

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What's the first thing a woman does when she get home from a battered wives shelter?
The dishes if she knows what's good for her.

Why did God create Woman?
You think He's gonna to do the dishes?

What do you call a woman with two brain cells?
Pregnant, with twin boys.

What do women and Slinkies have in common?
Not much really, but you can’t help but crack a smile when one tumbles down the stairs.
 
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