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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Fuck off you insidious little bitch.

So I’m sitting at my desk today, rocking out and clearing that mountain of work that always spikes a day before the end of the month rolls around. Headphones on but music at a reasonable level since it’s a cube farm environment. I get a tap on my shoulder from my manager. I kill the music and turn to learn that the reason she’s here at my desk is because a co-worker of mine has a problem with the noise I’m making.

“Wow”, I said “I’ll drop the level on my iPod. Didn’t realize it was loud enough for other people to hear.”

So my manager says, “Oh no. It’s not your music. It’s you’re typing. You’re typing too loud”

























“Seriously. I need you to get the fuck away from my desk” :flipoff: Back to Freebird :flipoff:
 

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CalmerThanYouAre
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Judging by the pages you throw down on here, I'm going to go out on a limb and say you're a pretty fast typer. So while she's sitting there, likely hunt-and-peck typing with two fingers, you're blazing up a storm of keystrokes. Maybe she should learn to type.

Do you have an old-school style keyboard? You know, the old terminal "klacker" keyboards? If not, you need to go find one of these:



IBM Model M keyboard. The last of the clicker keyboards that tried to replicate the feel of a typewriter. You can find them on Ebay for $20-80.

Then type a good rant on here. Fuck that bitch.

~SoCo
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Easy enough to fix....go home.

The co-worker didn't have the balls to come talk to you, had to have your manager do it. What a freaking *****.
I like this plan. I've clearly been working my keyboard too hard today. Time to go have a few beers. :gluging: :drunk:


Have them get you a quiet keyboard or some headphones for the idiot who complained

In 2009, PETA asked the Pet Shop Boys to consider changing their name to Rescue Shelter Boys.

Read the full text here: http://mentalfloss.com/amazingfactgenerator/#2156#ixzz1niSXS2Dq
--brought to you by mental_floss!

Not nearly as retarded, but this is pulling a close second place.
 

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Had the same issues with rivet guns.


What part of aircraft repair facility do you not understand!

Sent from my little magic box.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Had the same issues with rivet guns.


What part of aircraft repair facility do you not understand!

Sent from my little magic box.
WHAT???





Make it so everyone can hear your music and not your typing. When they complain, give them a choice between the 2 sounds.
HAHA! Epic. I like this plan almost as much as the one where I just say "Fine, fuck you, I'm going home"
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
you know what Reg says " Fuck that side of the office"
Reg can get away with that, anyone giver her an ounce of shit and she'll just rake their shins.

I keep playing the lottery so that God willing, one day I can walk in here, richer than everyone in the building combined and just start callin it like I see it. I'd so get fired, but it will be the most enjoyable 20 minutes I ever work - cuz it'll be the LAST 20 minutes I ever work!
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
Better plan...

Tonight's dinner shall consist of black bean burritos, copious amounts of beer and as much scrapple as I can stomach in one sitting topped with equal parts frank's red hot and KC MasterpieceBBQ sauces.

Tomorrow, they shall ALL pay for their insolence when I gross them all out with some gastrointestinal pyrotechnics. :thefinger:
 

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I keep playing the lottery so that God willing, one day I can walk in here, richer than everyone in the building combined and just start callin it like I see it. I'd so get fired, but it will be the most enjoyable 20 minutes I ever work - cuz it'll be the LAST 20 minutes I ever work!
If I was to win the lottery, which would be a miracle because I don't buy tickets, I wouldn't quit my job either. I come in every day not hold back...I'd give it a week before someone eventually sent me home. Damn it would be fun.:koolaid:
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
If I was to win the lottery, which would be a miracle because I don't buy tickets, I wouldn't quit my job either. I come in every day not hold back...I'd give it a week before someone eventually sent me home. Damn it would be fun.:koolaid:
I would make them fire me and then I'd file for unemployment just to piss them off. Not that I'd ever take it, but it would be fun to make them appeal.

THEM:
"Uh, your honor, the plaintiff has 40 million dollars in the bank."

ME:
"Oh, fuck you. I paid into the insurance system and now I'm unemployed through no fault of my own because you created a hostile work environment over the fact that I happen to have come into some money recently."

THEM:
"You honor, he took a shit on the xerox machine and then faxed the resulting image after squeezing the lid down on top of it to every member of the company's executive management."

JUDGE:
"LMFAO - Good one." :shitstorm:
 

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Tonight's dinner shall consist of black bean burritos, copious amounts of beer and as much scrapple as I can stomach in one sitting topped with equal parts frank's red hot and KC MasterpieceBBQ sauces.

Tomorrow, they shall ALL pay for their insolence when I gross them all out with some gastrointestinal pyrotechnics. :thefinger:
Scrapple...easy to tell you are from PA. Use to live there once upon a time. My grandfather ate that crap.
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
If it makes you feel any better I've been trying to quit my job all day but can't find my boss :laughing:
Actualy, Marcy. It does. Good for you on the quitting thing. Nothing more liberating in the world than telling the boss at a job you don't like to take the aforementioned job and jam it up their cornhole. :marcy:
 

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Actualy, Marcy. It does. Good for you on the quitting thing. Nothing more liberating in the world than telling the boss at a job you don't like to take the aforementioned job and jam it up their cornhole. :marcy:
I actually don't hate my job, I like it. But I did just officially quit! :)

Oh and I was serious about the music thing. Show them that it could be way worse and to just deal with the typing noise.
 
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