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Is that "Laughing Gas" considered a Schedule II drug?:thefinger::beer:
 

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Stolen from another board.. I LOL"ed

Redistribute the wealth, How Obama's economy will work....

Today on my way to lunch I passed a homeless guy with a sign that read

" Vote Obama, I need the money." I laughed.



Once in the restaurant my server had on a "Obama 08" tie, again I

laughed as he had given away his political preference--just imagine

the coincidence.



When the bill came I decided not to tip the server and explained to

him that I was exploring the Obama redistribution of wealth concept.

He stood there in disbelief while I told him that I was going to

redistribute his tip to someone who I deemed more in need--the

homeless guy outside. The server angrily stormed from my sight.



I went outside, gave the homeless guy $10 and told him to thank the

server inside as I've decided he could use the money more. The

homeless guy was grateful.



At the end of my rather unscientific redistribution experiment I

realized the homeless guy was grateful for the money he did not earn,

but the waiter was pretty angry that I gave away the money he did earn

even though the actual recipient needed money more.



I guess redistribution of wealth is an easier thing to swallow in

concept than in practical application.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
....and the homeless man promptly took the money and bought as much hard liquor as he could, then drank it and went back to the same spot on the street with the same sign and passed out....
 

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problems and solutions

This kinda fits in here:


Everyone concentrates on the problems we're having in this country lately: illegal immigration, hurricane recovery, alligators attacking people in Florida.


Not me. I concentrate on solutions for the problems. It's a win-win situation.


+ Dig a moat the length of the Mexican border.


+ Send the dirt to New Orleans to raise the level of the levies.


+ Put the Florida alligators in the moat along the Mexican border.



Think about this one:


1. Cows

2. The Constitution

3. The Ten Commandments


C O W S


Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the state of Washington? And, they tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow.


T H E C O N S T I T U T I O N


They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq . Why don't we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it has worked for over 200 years, and we're not using it anymore.


T H E 10 C O M M A N D M E N T S


The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments posted in a courthouse is this:

You cannot post 'Thou Shalt Not Steal,' 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery,' and 'Thou Shall Not Lie' in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians...It creates a hostile work environment.
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
Injured New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady will be replaced by Matt Cassel, an untested, inexperienced backup, earning Cassel the nickname, Barry Obama.


"Illinois senator Barry Obama is the democrat's choice. Here's what we know about him: his name is Barack Obama, or is it Barry Soetoro?....and he was on the cover of his church's magazine with louis farrakhan in 2002...." - mcnaught6
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
"Obama's camp initially agreed that the cartoon was, quote, tasteless and offensive. Really? You know what your response should have been? It's very easy. Here, let me put the statement out for you. Barack Obama is in no way upset about the cartoon that depicts him as a Muslim extremist, because you know who gets upset about cartoons? Muslim extremists. Of which Barack Obama is not. It's just a f**king cartoon." --Jon Stewart

"I'm sure you know by now, Jesse Jackson was overheard saying, and I'll put this more delicately, that he wanted to cut Barack Obama's testicles off. And Jesse has been on several news programs the last couple of days, explaining what he meant by those comments. Do you need to explain that?" --Jay Leno

"Both McCain and Senator Barack Obama are trying to woo voters who are outside their natural demographic. In this election, for Senator Obama, that means trying to reach working class, non-Muslim white women who love America." --Jon Stewart

"Barack Obama continues to criticize John McCain's economic plan. McCain would like to criticize Obama's plan, but nobody knows what it is yet. So we're still waiting." --Jay Leno
 
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