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I've got some gremlins I need help figuring out...

2012 Rubicon, auto trans, 101k miles, 2 year-old Optima red top battery. No recent work or mods.

This past Saturday morning, I had a completely drained battery after sitting overnight at work. No start, no lights, no nothing. Jumped it and seemed fine. Drove 10 minutes home, idled for another 15 minutes. Turned the key, dash and electronics shut off, but engine keeps running. Gas pedal revs the engine. Did some quick searching and one suggestion was to pull fuse M37. Did so, and it shut off. Will restart with the key without the fuse. 9 hours later, put the fuse back in, start up, drive to work, turn key off, engine shuts off normally. 12 hours later, Jeep starts no problem, drive home, shuts off normally.

10 hours later (Monday afternoon), dead battery... 4.7 volts. Hooked up a mostly-dead jump pack and hear relays clicking in/under the fuse block and a clicking in the engine. Jumpstart from a neighbor and seems fine, shuts off normally 30 minutes later with the fuse in place. A few hours later, engine off, key in my pocket- hearing the clicking noises again along with electrical whine. Pulled the fuse and they stopped.

Tuesday morning, put the fuse back in and the noises start immediately. Start up and drive 45 minutes to a funeral. During the drive, the ESC light comes on, along with a brief "HOT OIL" warning, all gear indicators light up, trans drops the torque converter briefly and check engine light comes on. Cruise control disabled. Check engine chime happened a few times. Engine fan comes on and stays on (highway driving in 70 degree weather, engine temps normal) Get to funeral and engine won't shut off until I pull the M37 fuse. Drove to a gas station before putting the fuse back in. Drive home was fine. After getting home, checked for codes.

P0480 Cooling Fan Relay 1 Control Circuit
U0100 Lost Communication With ECM/PCM "A"
U0101 Lost Communication with TCM
U0103 Lost Communication With Gear Shift Module
U0114 Lost Communication With Four-Wheel Drive Clutch Control Module
U0121 Lost Communication With Anti-Lock Brake System (ABS) Control Module
U0141 Lost Communication With Body Control Module "A"
U110B Lost Engine Coolant

Cleared the codes and drove to work. Won't shut off. Pulled fuse, checked codes... same except without P0480. That was last night. Just tried putting the fuse back and immediately greeted with the clicking and whining noises. Started and won't shut off until pulling the fuse.

Where do I start??? I read some posts suggesting to disconnect the swaybar motor, but... I can't seem to pull the plug off, it was smashed over a year ago and hasn't worked since (haven't gotten around to fixing it...). It does seem like a logical place to start, though since the M37 fuse seems to supply power to that.

I'm really annoyed, especially since I was talking about the Jeep being so reliable over the past 7 years!
 

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Try disconnecting all TIPM connectors, inspect/clean, reinstall if all looks OK. Make sure to give the connectors a firm push after they're reconnected. Also do the same for the PCM. Any noticeable damage - consider replacing.

If you removed fender liners, consider reinstalling them.

Sent from my LG-H910 using Tapatalk
 

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First off, it sounds like battery is done. I’ve never seen 4.7v and a battery come back from that for any reliable period of time.

Start there.
 
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