LONGEST OIL CHANGE TUTORIAL IN HISTORY
For most of us, this topic is redundant and obvious, but I wanted to post up a basic oil change guide for the first timer. More money than having someone else do it? Sure... but the total deal is STILL only around $50 ( and that's if you have to buy some additional shit like a filter wrench, funnel, etc). That's a fuckin steal! Not really but who cares?... You're awesome!
*Note- I have a Fumoto Valve. I recommend them after putting one to the test over the last couple years. They make oil changes much cleaner and easier, and they are proven to not leak, loosen, etc.
* 6 qts of oil ( conventional or synthetic) = from $20-$30... maybe higher/ lower depending on brand, retailer, rebates, etc.
* Filter = from $5-$10 on the average.
* Shop Towels = $3-$4.
* Bunch of old t-shirts/ rags ( just in case).
* Few Disposable funnels ( at most gas stations for FREE).
* Cheap-ass plastic funnel ( large as possible) = $2-$3.
* Large piece of cardboard ( cut-up cardboard box... whatever).
* 14 mm socket/ ratchet wrench or open end wrench. ( 1/2" will also work).
* Oil filter wrench = $4-$5.
* Plastic cheap-ass catch can = $3-$4.
At this point, if you have to go to Lowe's and buy a ratchet or socket set, then just forget it. Go to a dealership.
*Warm up the vehicle.
*Park it on an even surface. Set the brake ( Do not change the oil while driving the vehicle).
*Act as if you're gearing up to take on a HUGE project. Stomp loudly throughout the house with a profound expression and talk more aggressively. Maybe touch yourself a little more than usual. Make your family and friends feel envious of who you are. Cats at this point should be terrified by your presence.
*Open the hood and find the dip-stick and oil fill. They're visible... just find 'em.
*Lay out some cardboard and find the drain plug on the oil-pan. Depending on the skids that you have on your JK, it might affect access to the drain-plug.
*Position the catch-can. You can use a piece of folded cardboard to deflect/ direct oil if necessary... maybe it's a windy day, or you have bad aim, or maybe your aftermarket skid is in the way.
*Check the dip-stick at this point just for the hell of it. Maybe your engine oil is low from burning or leaking. Pull it/ wipe it/ put it back in ( much like sex with a dirty woman or a prostitute). Check the level on the dip-stick and take note.
*Crawl the hell under the Jeep with your wrench and loosen the drain-plug bolt. SLOWLY back it out by hand as you get the FUCK out of the way. Hot motor oil on the face sucks. Try to not drop the drain plug into the catch-can. Allow the used oil to pour all the way out until it's barely dripping.
*This is a good time to take in the local scenery, wave to the neighbors, or maybe take a piss. Super-cool to piss right there next to the Jeep... shows dominance. Extra points if you're a woman.
*Periodically check your phone for any missed calls if your wife or g/f is there with you. Make it known that there are other important and prestigious people out there that may call or text you at any time seeking your assistance or wisdom. Your significant-other needs to know that you are a sought after man.
*Take the old filter off. Put some towels or rags underneath the filter on the ground and/ or covering your suspension components. Some oil is gonna drip. If you accidentally drop the filter before you get it upright then a bunch more is gonna come out... messy shit. I like to pull the old filter from the top. You can usually just reach down between the engine & radiator to loosen and remove it. Use a filter wrench if you have delicate girl-hands.
*Grab the new filter and rub some fresh oil around the gasket. I like to also pour a little oil inside to get it soaked into the mesh. Just fill it about 1/4 of the way. Then tip it over a little and roll it around to let the oil absorb into the media.
*Screw it back on. I like to do this from underneath but whatever works. I finish tightening it from above. Be careful not to crush it or over-tighten it with your incredible Herculean strength.
*Look at the drain plug. Inspect it. Touch it. Love it.
*Screw the plug back into the pan. Do NOT over-torque it. Get it to the "very snug" position of your virtual man-meter. Torque it to spec if you feel the need to.
*Okay.. now you're big-time American man. Grab the 5 qt jug ( or one of the single 6 qt containers) and start pouring into the oil fill hole on the top pass side of the engine. This is where I use a disposable funnel.
*Go slow... proving to any onlookers that you OWN that 5 qt jug of fresh oil. See if you can get the sunlight to glisten off your bicep, thigh, or forehead. You're super!
*Before starting on the final 6th qt, take a second to check the dipstick again. MAKE SURE THAT YOU DON'T OVERFILL. Also keep in mind that you may or may not use the entire 6th qt.
*You are done with it now... kinda. Dispose of this shit properly so that it doesn't make a mess or contaminate the great outdoors.
ONE OF MANY DISPOSAL METHODS:
*Pour any remaining oil that may be in the filter, into the catch can.
*Put the used filter in a couple of walmart bags after wrapping a rag or some towels around it.
*Take the oil jug and set it on a big-ass piece of cardboard. Get some rags or old t-shirts and lay them all around the jug.
*Stick that large cheap-ass plastic funnel in the jug and CAREFULLY start pouring the used oil into the jug. Depending on the type of catch-can that you're using, you may spill some. Do the best you can. Don't drop that fucker or your life will be ruined and complete strangers will likely spit on you for the rest of your life.
*Wipe off the jug and put the cap back on tightly. Put that bitch into a couple walmart bags.
*Secure the used oil and filter in your Waste Transportation Vehicle of choice. Take that crap to walmart or some place that takes used oil and filters for recycling. Make damn sure that everything is clean and won't potentially tip over or leak-out. Used oil is nasty shit.
*Whatever you do with the rags, cardboard, disposable funnel, etc... is your business. Try to use good judgement. Not a bad idea to take the xtra time and effort to clean out the catch can with any leftover towels or rags.
SEVERAL COMPATIBLE 2007-2011 JK OIL FILTERS:
*Mobil One M-102
*K&N Pro PS-1002
*Fram TG 3614
*Fram XG 3614
*A/C Delco PF-53
COMMON 2007-2011 JK OIL WEIGHTS:
*5 W-20 ( recommended by Chrysler)
*5 W-30 ( winter)
*10 W-30 ( summer)
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