Write Up - How to Install River Raider Snorkel in a Hemi Jeep - JKowners.com : Jeep Wrangler JK Forum
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post #1 of 36 Old 10-30-2010, 03:09 PM Thread Starter
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Write Up - How to Install River Raider Snorkel in a Hemi Jeep

Jake has been dying to install his new snorkel in his Hemi Jeep. Well, the packages got here last night! So today was install day.

We got a lot of brilliant minds together for an install party.

I knew when I showed up that we had brought out our A crowd - real scientists and brainy types. They asked me "what did you do about your old antenna on your JK when you put the snorkel on?"

I replied "I dont listen to terrestrial radio."

"Oooooooooooooooooooo 'Mr I-use-big-words," they replied.

Yeah - we brought our A crew.

Anyways, here is a detailed write up on how to install a River Raider Snorkel into a Hemi powered JK Wrangler Unlimited. As with my previous write up, mods feel free to move to this to the write-up library.

Step 1. Ignore Jake and his petty problems and instead respool your nasty, snarled up winch line that EFFREM was so nice to loosen up for you a month or so ago.


Step 2. Send Mikey to the store to get more beer. The measly 12 beers we had to start out with were an appetizer. We needed more. And cigarettes too apparently.


Step 3. All beered up? Good! Let's start cutting into that bad boy.


Step 4. Align the paper properly. Note: I had to make at least one step be relevant.


Step 5. Remove the Antenna.


Step 6. Make sure you fingerfuck the hole left by the antenna in a way that screams "another man has marked your jeep Jake."


Step 7. Go ahead, put two fingers in there. She can take it. Yeah you like that - dont you, you dirty whore?


Step 8. Now you are ready to start drilling. I found this part interesting. When we installed the snorkel on MY Jeep, I remember just lining it up and GOING TO TOWN. No careful tapping out the mark to drill it or masking it with tape. Nope. Just line her up and fuck it up!


Step 9. Sparky wants a beer. Go get the dog a beer.



Continued on the next post...



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post #2 of 36 Old 10-30-2010, 03:11 PM Thread Starter
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Step 10. Now, bring in the idiot and give him a 3" hole saw. Say something clever like, "It's your jeep. You have to do it yourself." You know, the kind of things that were said to me when I anxiously tore into my Jeep a while back.


Step 11. Keep drilling. You have 3 piece of metal to saw through. So put some elbow grease into it!


Step 12. Push harder you pussy. But dont push too hard! There are wires on the other side. Oh yeah, it's a good idea to remember to have someone hold those wires out of the way.


Step 13. Dumbass. You didn't hold the wires and you pushed too hard. I fucking told you not to. At this point, whoever is doing the drilling might want to say something like "Fuck You Dave!"


Step 14. Formally retreat. You've fucked this up pretty good. I think it's time to call your buddy Bill and have him come over Monday with his repair truck full of goodies and fix the unholy mess you have started to create. He will also help you relocate your dual battery system to the back of the JK. How's that sound? I mean, just look at the clusterfuck mess you've made:



And that's all there is to it! You too can install a River Raider Snorkel in your Jeep Wrangler Unlimited with a Hemi in it if you: (a) are functionally retarded, (b) a member of a club full of morons, and (c) dont mind fucking up a perfectly good vehicle.

If you have any questions about this write up, as always, go fuck yourself.



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post #3 of 36 Old 10-30-2010, 03:13 PM
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holy shit man, i was so pumped to see this in a hemi

damn good luck with the fix Jake



karn, by far the best move you made having jake do the drilling

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post #4 of 36 Old 10-30-2010, 03:15 PM
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Now i get the "SHIT!" comment on facebook. All i have to say is "DAMN!"
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post #5 of 36 Old 10-30-2010, 03:27 PM
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Oh man ouch... looking forward to seeing the "happy ending". I'm sure it'll be all better in no time.

........My other hobbies include: Older cars and trucks; Spending money on unfinished projects, and continuing to not finish them...

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For my money, the most notable part of this thread is all the fallout from bsack's fortune cookie factory explosion.
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post #6 of 36 Old 10-30-2010, 03:36 PM
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Dude that sucks but is hilarious. Good luck with the rest of the install.
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post #7 of 36 Old 10-30-2010, 03:37 PM
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Edit to River Raiders Instruction Sheet:

*The following addendum is for all members of the Jacked Up Jeep Club.*

*Once hole is drilled, attach the KSIA harness to your back and proceed to activate KSIA device repeatedly until you can clearly taste the leather of the boot being inserted in one's ass!

Kick Self In Ass devise




Joking aside, that majorly suck guys, hope you get it all straightened out. If not, I'll gladly trade ya Jeeps straight up....


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post #8 of 36 Old 10-30-2010, 03:49 PM
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shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii iiittttttttt

Uh, I do look forward to seeing the final installed product...it'll be awesome.


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post #9 of 36 Old 10-30-2010, 05:14 PM
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Does the new hole in the side of the jeep make up for the fact that the air conditioning doesn't work?

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post #10 of 36 Old 10-30-2010, 05:21 PM
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shit that sucks, I remember doing mine, I rubbed up against that harness, whew

well at least they are not all the same color


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A Jeep just zipped past my house and I could swear I heard the driver yellin:

"The tkob is coming!! The tkob is coming!!"
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post #11 of 36 Old 10-30-2010, 05:24 PM
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Why am I anxious to see a Mr. Ben Hedrick reply here?

(I cringed when I saw the wires....)

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post #12 of 36 Old 10-30-2010, 06:03 PM
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ooooh that SUX ASS! I cut my main harness when I installed by OR-Fab cage. DAMN thats a bitch!
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post #13 of 36 Old 10-30-2010, 07:35 PM
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I laughed... I cried... I made a mental note not to let any JUJC member near my Jeep.

My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to 99 a can. That's almost $7.00 in dog money.
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post #14 of 36 Old 10-30-2010, 07:44 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by StubEXrube View Post
Why am I anxious to see a Mr. Ben Hedrick reply here?

(I cringed when I saw the wires....)
Yep Ben sold his Jeep to a Jacked Up Jeep Club member. No telling whats going to happen next. Its all good though because I have a professional electrical engineer coming by in the morning to solder the wires together and shrink wrap all the wires together. It will be as good as new.

We also found that the battery will have to be moved to the rear of the Jeep because the Snorkel comes in by the battery and the engine is too big. I know I know whine whine but it will end up being better in the long run.

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post #15 of 36 Old 10-30-2010, 07:50 PM
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Originally Posted by StubEXrube View Post
Why am I anxious to see a Mr. Ben Hedrick reply here?

(I cringed when I saw the wires....)
Hahaa this!! ^^^^^


It will be all good in the end.


This might be the best write up.... ever.
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post #16 of 36 Old 10-30-2010, 07:55 PM
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Well? How does it look?

01111001011011110111010100100000011011000110111101 11001101110100001000000111010001101000011001010010 000001100111011000010110110101100101

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post #17 of 36 Old 10-30-2010, 08:01 PM
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Hahaa
For the record - the "Hahaa" is for the write up... not the Snorkel SNAFU



Last edited by Mr.RonGilbert; 10-30-2010 at 08:46 PM.
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post #18 of 36 Old 10-30-2010, 08:18 PM
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looks like something i would do. best of luck getting it back together.
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post #19 of 36 Old 10-30-2010, 08:35 PM
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Looks like something I would do!

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zjr- I'm not that horny, but I have been known to salivate over your meat.
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post #20 of 36 Old 10-30-2010, 08:44 PM
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Man, that shit is too funny. I was looking for the difference with the Hemi install, but this was much better. Makes my install https://www.jkowners.com/forum/showthread.php?t=18905
look a bit too tame. That holesaw can be a motherfucker...

Just when they think they have all the answers, I go and change the question.
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post #21 of 36 Old 10-30-2010, 08:46 PM
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Is this a time when a Hemi JK can be outrun by a stock JK?


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Jeep is gone
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post #22 of 36 Old 10-31-2010, 02:28 AM
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That holesaw can be a motherfucker...
Note to Jake; Hole saws are like Hookers with braces.....in the wrong hands, both will wreck the shit outta stuff that shouldn't be touched by either....


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post #23 of 36 Old 10-31-2010, 06:47 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Loki646 View Post
Note to Jake; Hole saws are like Hookers with braces.....in the wrong hands, both will wreck the shit outta stuff that shouldn't be touched by either....
LMFAO

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post #24 of 36 Old 10-31-2010, 11:35 AM
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Lightbulb

Hole-E-CRAP!!!! DOH!!!

What the HELL HOLE!!! Hey, Jake there is a main wiring harness located just behind where you are cutting that hole... DOH! Maybe, I should have posted this closer to the top of this thread write up...






OK, I'm calm'd down now... It's all good. Jake's got someone to "fix" it and I am sure it will be fine...

Hey Jake, good thing it's your Jeep now....

It's all good... We all make mistakes. Look at the right front brake line, my buddy helping me with HEMI install, hit the brake line with the grinder and I have to replace it... Shit happens...

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post #25 of 36 Old 10-31-2010, 01:05 PM
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i applaud you for having the nuts to post up that screw up.
i hate that feeling when i fuck up something. then i'm thinking i was trying to save some coin and enjoy the camaraderie and it ends up costing more anyway.

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If I hear banjos I'm out! I almost feel like an alien being a black guy in a jeep already, this is gonna be a real adventure
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