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post #1 of 40 Old 09-28-2009, 08:49 AM Thread Starter
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Jeep Driving Hazard

I was driving home yesterday morning from breakfast with a friend, had the top down naturally, tank top on, getting some sun. As I was getting on the road, I felt something - and saw it out of my peripheral vision - kinda fluttered across my chest and shoulders and out of the Jeep (or so I thought). I had parked near a tree, figured it was a dried up leaf blowing out of the Jeep now that I was getting up some speed on the road. I called The Man to coordinate dinner plans that evening to cook up some of that wonderful wahoo and tuna from the tourney.

So I'm on the phone with him for a couple of minutes when I suddenly begin to experience a sharp stinging sensation on my left tit. I look down - and there's a goddam wasp biting my effin tit! Holy shiznit, I zigzagged across three lanes of traffic to pull into a strip plaza (coincidentally, in front of the Adult Video Warehouse), screaming, threw the cell phone on the floor and ran up on a curb to screech to a halt and jump out of the Jeep digging down my shirt to forcefully remove the wasp that was now trying to bite my other tit.

I'm telling you, I never knew how dangerous it was to drive a Jeep. Everyone thinks "rollover"; now I think washer fluid to the eye, wasp to the tit.
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post #2 of 40 Old 09-28-2009, 08:55 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BadAzGirlsDriveBadAzToyz View Post
I was driving home yesterday morning from breakfast with a friend, had the top down naturally, tank top on, getting some sun. As I was getting on the road, I felt something - and saw it out of my peripheral vision - kinda fluttered across my chest and shoulders and out of the Jeep (or so I thought). I had parked near a tree, figured it was a dried up leaf blowing out of the Jeep now that I was getting up some speed on the road. I called The Man to coordinate dinner plans that evening to cook up some of that wonderful wahoo and tuna from the tourney.

So I'm on the phone with him for a couple of minutes when I suddenly begin to experience a sharp stinging sensation on my left tit. I look down - and there's a goddam wasp biting my effin tit! Holy shiznit, I zigzagged across three lanes of traffic to pull into a strip plaza (coincidentally, in front of the Adult Video Warehouse), screaming, threw the cell phone on the floor and ran up on a curb to screech to a halt and jump out of the Jeep digging down my shirt to forcefully remove the wasp that was now trying to bite my other tit.

I'm telling you, I never knew how dangerous it was to drive a Jeep. Everyone thinks "rollover"; now I think washer fluid to the eye, wasp to the tit.
I find it amusing that you had the presence of mind, in all your panic to pull over, to still make note of the Adult Video Warehouse. Good job.

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post #3 of 40 Old 09-28-2009, 08:59 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BadAzGirlsDriveBadAzToyz View Post
I was driving home yesterday morning from breakfast with a friend, had the top down naturally, tank top on, getting some sun. As I was getting on the road, I felt something - and saw it out of my peripheral vision - kinda fluttered across my chest and shoulders and out of the Jeep (or so I thought). I had parked near a tree, figured it was a dried up leaf blowing out of the Jeep now that I was getting up some speed on the road. I called The Man to coordinate dinner plans that evening to cook up some of that wonderful wahoo and tuna from the tourney.

So I'm on the phone with him for a couple of minutes when I suddenly begin to experience a sharp stinging sensation on my left tit. I look down - and there's a goddam wasp biting my effin tit! Holy shiznit, I zigzagged across three lanes of traffic to pull into a strip plaza (coincidentally, in front of the Adult Video Warehouse), screaming, threw the cell phone on the floor and ran up on a curb to screech to a halt and jump out of the Jeep digging down my shirt to forcefully remove the wasp that was now trying to bite my other tit.

I'm telling you, I never knew how dangerous it was to drive a Jeep. Everyone thinks "rollover"; now I think washer fluid to the eye, wasp to the tit.
Pictures pictures pictures.

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post #4 of 40 Old 09-28-2009, 09:09 AM
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Thx for the warning. I don't know what I'd do if a wasp tried to sting me in the balls. I'd probably cry a lot.
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post #5 of 40 Old 09-28-2009, 09:10 AM
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I agree... pics or it didn't happen.

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post #6 of 40 Old 09-28-2009, 09:12 AM
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when i get bit i swell up pretty good.

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If I hear banjos I'm out! I almost feel like an alien being a black guy in a jeep already, this is gonna be a real adventure
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post #7 of 40 Old 09-28-2009, 09:26 AM
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I'm jealous..................












..........of the wasp!

more wagging, less barking
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post #8 of 40 Old 09-28-2009, 09:37 AM
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Good job getting over and getting rid of the sucker. I thought you were going to say you lost the tank top in front of the adult video store. That would have been ironic.

Ouch, I literally feel your pain, found myself grabbing my man-boob while reading the story. Brought back memories of when I used to ride a motorcycle. I had a wasp hit me directly in the chest, instant sting at 50mph.

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For my money, the most notable part of this thread is all the fallout from bsack's fortune cookie factory explosion.
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post #9 of 40 Old 09-28-2009, 09:40 AM
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Yeah I got nailed by a bee doing 65mph on a crowded 6 lane road. Had to maintain. No swerving lol.



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post #10 of 40 Old 09-28-2009, 09:45 AM Thread Starter
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OMFG, you guys and the pictures. no i didn't take pictures! as it was i was trying not to pee myself after 4 cups of coffee trying to hold it til i got home.

I did actually start to take my shirt off but considering I was (A) barely parked off a busy 6-lane road and (B) parked directly in front of the AVW I figured it would not be a good place to start undressing. Trying to avoid the indecent exposure charge added to the wreckless driving charge I was anticipating from that heavily patrolled area.
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post #11 of 40 Old 09-28-2009, 10:11 AM
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Originally Posted by BadAzGirlsDriveBadAzToyz View Post
as it was i was trying not to pee myself after 4 cups of coffee trying to hold it til i got home.

Sheit girl....be like Karn and just pee outside! Something tells me its not the first time!

more wagging, less barking
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post #12 of 40 Old 09-28-2009, 12:56 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gold knight View Post
Ouch, I literally feel your pain, found myself grabbing my man-boob while reading the story. Brought back memories of when I used to ride a motorcycle. I had a wasp hit me directly in the chest, instant sting at 50mph.
oh... i'm part of that motorcycle club...
took one to the neck and a bumble bee up the shorts (stung my inner thigh) neck was the worst though.

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post #13 of 40 Old 09-28-2009, 12:59 PM
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Haven't had any bee stings, but Im always getting tangled in spider webs. They tend to jump out at me while I'm driving.. I swerve and freak out. I hate spiders I hate it when they just dangle down right in front of me just so I can barely see them..
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post #14 of 40 Old 09-28-2009, 01:12 PM
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what sucks is getting attacked and stung by a bunch of bees while u are climbing a telephone pole with gaffs on, my ass almost fell down it from 18ft

has anyone been hit with bird**** with the top down yet?


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Originally Posted by Dancin Dan View Post
A Jeep just zipped past my house and I could swear I heard the driver yellin:

"The tkob is coming!! The tkob is coming!!"
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post #15 of 40 Old 09-28-2009, 01:16 PM
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Originally Posted by BadAzGirlsDriveBadAzToyz View Post
OMFG, you guys and the pictures. no i didn't take pictures! as it was i was trying not to pee myself after 4 cups of coffee trying to hold it til i got home.
You should have just peed yourself...and then took pictures.

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post #16 of 40 Old 09-28-2009, 01:26 PM
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what sucks is getting attacked and stung by a bunch of bees while u are climbing a telephone pole with gaffs on, my ass almost fell down it from 18ft
That's no laughing matter. I used to do boundary surveying, and up around Jacksonville, in the swamp, we were surveying for a WalMart. For those who don't know, boundary surveying is technical speak for hacking miles of straight trail through the thick-ass forest with a machete. I chopped down this large palmetto and all of the sudden I was punched in the stomach. That's exactly what it felt like, but it wasn't a fist that punched me, it was 50 f*cking yellow jackets. I ran as fast as I could about a mile down the trail. I took my shirt off, and my whole chest and stomach was swollen and red and hurt like hell.

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post #17 of 40 Old 09-28-2009, 01:30 PM
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Talking Got milk...

While my first thought is.. You're Okay!
That's just fawking hilarious!!


Quote:
Originally Posted by gold knight View Post
found myself grabbing my man-boob while reading the story.
TMI...Thanks for the image!

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post #18 of 40 Old 09-28-2009, 01:33 PM
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I guess I've been lucky, no wasps, bees, bees or spiders for me...yet. Good thing too, I'm mildly allergic to the flying stingers.

I did, however, step in a fire ant hill in the dark while putting down the top on Saturday night. Didn't notice until too late.

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post #19 of 40 Old 09-28-2009, 01:34 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tkob1060 View Post
what sucks is getting attacked and stung by a bunch of bees while u are climbing a telephone pole with gaffs on, my ass almost fell down it from 18ft

has anyone been hit with bird**** with the top down yet?



i had my hood get hit on the hiwhway i had the front panels off so ti was a close one

ps jeez dont u knwo ur supposed to take pics of everything you do in life


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Everyone else can BLOW themselves cause im bad as FUCK!
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post #20 of 40 Old 09-28-2009, 01:45 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ynkedad View Post
............

TMI...Thanks for the image!
No problem. I can post a pic if you like

........My other hobbies include: Older cars and trucks; Spending money on unfinished projects, and continuing to not finish them...

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Quote:
Originally Posted by ExWrench View Post
For my money, the most notable part of this thread is all the fallout from bsack's fortune cookie factory explosion.
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post #21 of 40 Old 09-28-2009, 02:01 PM
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No problem. I can post a pic if you like
LOL!! Too funny!

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post #22 of 40 Old 09-28-2009, 02:03 PM
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Originally Posted by gold knight View Post
Ouch, I literally feel your pain, found myself grabbing my man-boob while reading the story. .
I believe the politically correct name is chesticle! Although man-boob does work in a pinch!!!

I feel your pain though. Riding my atv this weekend some large unidentified creepy thing hit my chest hard then minutes later I hit a huge spiderweb.... nothing stung or bit me though... just enough to creep me out.....
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post #23 of 40 Old 09-28-2009, 04:39 PM Thread Starter
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oh man, the bird sh!t... I'm just waiting for that! i was on 95 once in my pathfinder with the sunroof open and I drove past a garbage dump and one of them fuuckers sh!t right on the center console. yuckies.
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post #24 of 40 Old 09-28-2009, 04:49 PM
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Hope all is OK! Did you at least pick up a good movie while you were there??
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post #25 of 40 Old 09-28-2009, 04:53 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by .:eMETAL:. View Post
oh... i'm part of that motorcycle club...
took one to the neck and a bumble bee up the shorts (stung my inner thigh) neck was the worst though.
I got nailed in the chest by a cicada or something of that size doing 50 on my bike. Left a nice welt. I also got cut off by a deer on my motorcycle... same road. That one nearly killed me though.

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