So this isnt the worst my JK has been through- not by a long shot. However, for whatever reason the crankcase breather was disconnected from my snorkel and that whole valve cover was under water. We were too far to run a winch line to anything, and nothing that could get close enough was big enough to remail stationary- I was fucked.
I was high centered and while we were putting weight on the front bumper to try and reach some terra-hydra with the locked 37"s the open exhaust was at an angle that was allpowing gravity to send water up the back side to the submerged right-side manifold. I didnt know about the breater tube, but I recognozed the engine starting to bog as I shifted gears- so I killed it.
In a nutshell, if you are sunk, keep it floored or kill it. All or nothing.
So after TWO tow trucks got stuck, I got pulled out... Now normally I would just pull the plugs and spray some WD, but this time was different- I had a $1,900 tow bill and milkshake on the dipstick. So I called insurance- and waited.
It took 3 weeks and 5 days to get my JK back. The whole time the rig was covered in evil Texas clay, had water in the engine cylinders, valve covers and exhaust. When I pulled the drain plug first thing I got was water- A LOT OF WATER. After clear water shot out, I ended up with AT LEAST 12 quarts of milkshake sludge. Most of us know what that looks like, but I can post a pic if you dont. After the crankcase was empty the dipstick still reagestered 3x more creamer colored goodness than what I usually get in oil.
So I pulled the plugs. Sediment was in 4 of them, rear drivers cyl. and all 3 of the low side cyls. I then used a broken spark plug wire boot and a gallon jug of ATF to fill each cyl with ATF. Some guys say to fill the engine with ATF, but thats for more severe situations, IMO. While the ATF is sitting, I pull the pan- nasty. Sediment is all in there too. I spent two cans of brake cleaner in the engine block, just hosing it out. I also sprayed directly into the oil fill plug, the dipstick, and up into the oil pickup.
Some people say to inch the crank back and forth manualy to break a seized engine free- but on the JK the bolt will turn long before the crank. So I do it like the caveman I am- put the trans in 4th (1:1) and pull that fucker with another jeep.
The 37x14.5" Iroks left 8 feet of rubber before breaking the engine lose with a final pop of the tow strap- then 6 cylinders of ATF exploded under the hood (use a blanket) as we dragged the JK around with no oil and ATF in all 6. I took it for about a half block total, listening to the popping of compression through the spark plug holes. The motor now turned freely by hand.
I refilled the cylinders with ATF, then buttoned it back up with new oil and a plug and dragged it around again in 4th to cycle the timing system and oil pump. Once I parked it, I cleaned all the spark plug boots with brake cleaner, put in new plugs, and cranked that bitch up.
It didnt start until the 4th try, and with 1/8th of a tank I think I took water in. That side was submerged to the headlight and if you know water crossings- you know JKs leak at the fuel pickup. But it started, and is smoking like a fucking haunted house. But it is runing, and the "lightinig bolt of death" will come on now and again while it stumbles, but a can of HEAT, or just filling it up, will resolve that. JKs do that whenever they are starved for fuel. Again, it is smoking like a mofo, but it is running fine.