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post #11901 of 12849 Old 08-06-2017, 02:38 PM
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I keep hearing this add on the local radio station that says:

"We all need to start recycling. We have to think about what kind of world we're going to leave Keith Richards."

Kevin
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post #11902 of 12849 Old 08-08-2017, 05:01 AM
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post #11903 of 12849 Old 08-08-2017, 05:03 AM
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post #11904 of 12849 Old 08-08-2017, 08:19 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by priell3 View Post
. . .


. . . but *clothesline*





At least they didn't spell your "you're"

PLEASE BUY AMERICAN SO I DON'T HAVE TO LEARN CHINESE
The 4th little pig made his house of reinforced concrete, with wolfskin rugs in every room

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post #11905 of 12849 Old 08-08-2017, 09:39 PM
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Well the line is close when it hits your neck isn't it.

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Cat killing would almost certainly decline if we were allowed to hunt liberals.
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post #11906 of 12849 Old 08-17-2017, 07:59 AM
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Sure my rig has seen the trail, but I wheel it like a soccer mom looking for a parking spot at Nordstroms.
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post #11907 of 12849 Old 08-22-2017, 08:34 AM
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Sure my rig has seen the trail, but I wheel it like a soccer mom looking for a parking spot at Nordstroms.
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post #11908 of 12849 Old 08-24-2017, 10:13 AM
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Weiner anyone?
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Quote:
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Cat killing would almost certainly decline if we were allowed to hunt liberals.
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post #11909 of 12849 Old 08-24-2017, 10:47 AM
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Neaux Weiner here. But damn , North Korea hasn't been in a war for over 50 years. Must be participation medals.
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Quote:
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Cat killing would almost certainly decline if we were allowed to hunt liberals.
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post #11910 of 12849 Old 08-24-2017, 03:14 PM
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So, who wore it better?


Quote:
Originally Posted by Clone7
When you die, you see your life going by in a flash.

Steve Jobs didn't - Apple doesn't support Flash.
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post #11911 of 12849 Old 08-25-2017, 06:04 AM
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Sure my rig has seen the trail, but I wheel it like a soccer mom looking for a parking spot at Nordstroms.
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post #11912 of 12849 Old 08-25-2017, 09:48 AM
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Sure my rig has seen the trail, but I wheel it like a soccer mom looking for a parking spot at Nordstroms.
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post #11913 of 12849 Old 08-25-2017, 05:41 PM
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Quote:
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So, who wore it better?

EXTERMINATEEE NORTH KOREAA

What is your tipping point?
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post #11914 of 12849 Old 08-26-2017, 05:19 AM
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So, who wore it better?

Partial implementation of new dress uniform body armor.

“Vegetarians are cool. All I eat are vegetarians - except for the occasional mountain lion steak.”

Ted Nugent

Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin to slit throats.
H. L. Mencken
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post #11915 of 12849 Old 08-26-2017, 05:22 AM
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Weiner anyone?
Coffee just shot out my nose

“Vegetarians are cool. All I eat are vegetarians - except for the occasional mountain lion steak.”

Ted Nugent

Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin to slit throats.
H. L. Mencken
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post #11916 of 12849 Old 08-26-2017, 08:11 AM
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A group of HELLS ANGELS, South Carolina bikers were riding east on 378 when they saw a girl about to jump off the Pee Dee River Bridge. So they stopped.

George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State Trooper who was trying to talk her down off the railing, and says,
"Hey Baby . . . whatcha doin' up there on that railin'?"

She says tearfully, "I'm going to commit suicide!!"

While he didn't want to appear "sensitive," George also didn't want to miss this "be-a-legend" opportunity either so he asked . . . "Well, before you jump, Honey-Babe . . .
why don't you give ol' George here your best last kiss?"

So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that . . .
and it was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by another even better one.

After they breathlessly finished, George gets a big thumbs-up approval from his biker-buddies, the onlookers, and even the State Trooper, and then says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had! That's a real talent you're wasting there, Sugar Shorts. You could be famous if you rode with me. Why are you committing suicide?"

"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl."

It's still unclear whether she jumped or was pushed.

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Sure my rig has seen the trail, but I wheel it like a soccer mom looking for a parking spot at Nordstroms.
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post #11917 of 12849 Old 08-27-2017, 11:55 AM
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SEX and GRAMMAR

On his 70th birthday, a man was given a gift certificate from his wife. The certificate was for consultation with an Indian medicine man living on a nearby reservation who was rumored to have a simple cure for erectile dysfunction. The husband went to the reservation and saw the medicine man.
The old Indian gave him a potion and, with a grip on his shoulder, warned “This is a powerful medicine. You take only a teaspoonful, and then say: ‘1,2,3.’ When you do you will become more manly than you have ever been in your life, and you can perform for as long as you want.”
The man thanked the old Indian, and as he walked away, he turned and asked: “How do I stop the medicine from working?” The old man responded, “Your partner must say ‘1,2,3,4, ‘ but when she does, the medicine will not work again until the next full moon.”
He was very eager to see if it worked, so he went home, showered, shaved, took a spoonful of the medicine, and then invited his wife to join him in the bedroom. When she came in, he took off his clothes and said ‘1,2,3!’ Immediately, he was the manliest of men. His wife was excited and began throwing off her clothes, and asked: “What was the 1,2,3 for?”
And that, folks, is why we should never end our sentences with a preposition, because we could end up with a dangling participle.

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Quote:
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Cat killing would almost certainly decline if we were allowed to hunt liberals.
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post #11918 of 12849 Old 08-29-2017, 07:59 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lohchief View Post
If people don't take a stand now,you'll be bitches under their thumbs tomorrow.
Quote:
Originally Posted by StubEXrube View Post
I think too much of a pressure variant between Earth and outer-space... lack of oxygen... something like that.
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post #11919 of 12849 Old 08-29-2017, 08:09 AM
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Ya think she love me good long time?

08 Rubi Unlimited named Freebird

Quote:
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Cat killing would almost certainly decline if we were allowed to hunt liberals.
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post #11920 of 12849 Old 08-29-2017, 11:00 AM
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Ya think she love me good long time?
Yeah, until you pass out.

Quote:
Originally Posted by lohchief View Post
If people don't take a stand now,you'll be bitches under their thumbs tomorrow.
Quote:
Originally Posted by StubEXrube View Post
I think too much of a pressure variant between Earth and outer-space... lack of oxygen... something like that.
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post #11921 of 12849 Old 08-29-2017, 02:36 PM
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New chemical Element Discovered
by William DeBuvitz

This bit of humor was written in April 1988 and appeared in the January 1989 issue of The Physics Teacher. William DeBuvitz was a physics professor at Middlesex County College in Edison, New Jersey (USA). He retired in June of 2000.

The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered by investigators at a major U.S. research university. The element, tentatively named administratium, has no protons or electrons and thus has an atomic number of 0. However, it does have one neutron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75 vice neutrons and 111 assistant vice neutrons, which gives it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by a force that involves the continuous exchange of meson-like particles called morons.

Since it has no electrons, administratium is inert. However, it can be detected chemically as it impedes every reaction it comes in contact with. According to the discoverers, a minute amount of administratium causes one reaction to take over four days to complete when it would have normally occurred in less than a second.

Administratium has a normal half-life of approximately three years, at which time it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which assistant neutrons, vice neutrons and assistant vice neutrons exchange places. Some studies have shown that the atomic mass actually increases after each reorganization.

Research at other laboratories indicates that administratium occurs naturally in the atmosphere. It tends to concentrate at certain points such as government agencies, large corporations, and universities. It can usually be found in the newest, best appointed, and best maintained buildings.

Scientists point out that administratium is known to be toxic at any level of concentration and can easily destroy any productive reaction where it is allowed to accumulate. Attempts are being made to determine how administratium can be controlled to prevent irreversible damage, but results to date are not promising.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Clone7
When you die, you see your life going by in a flash.

Steve Jobs didn't - Apple doesn't support Flash.
This message has been reviewed & approved by the NSA, Google and Microsoft.
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post #11922 of 12849 Old 08-29-2017, 03:15 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Clone7
When you die, you see your life going by in a flash.

Steve Jobs didn't - Apple doesn't support Flash.
This message has been reviewed & approved by the NSA, Google and Microsoft.
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post #11923 of 12849 Old 08-29-2017, 10:08 PM
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08 Rubi Unlimited named Freebird

Quote:
Originally Posted by StubEXrube View Post
Cat killing would almost certainly decline if we were allowed to hunt liberals.
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post #11924 of 12849 Old 08-30-2017, 07:14 AM
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Sure my rig has seen the trail, but I wheel it like a soccer mom looking for a parking spot at Nordstroms.
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post #11925 of 12849 Old 08-31-2017, 02:25 PM
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And in honour of it being the first day of Spring...


Quote:
Originally Posted by Clone7
When you die, you see your life going by in a flash.

Steve Jobs didn't - Apple doesn't support Flash.
This message has been reviewed & approved by the NSA, Google and Microsoft.
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