Just Random Funny **** - Page 134 - JKowners.com : Jeep Wrangler JK Forum
 
JKowners.com : Jeep Wrangler JK Forum  

Go Back   JKowners.com : Jeep Wrangler JK Forum > Miscellaneous > Chit Chat

JKOwners.com is the premier Jeep JK Forum on the internet. Registered Users do not see the above ads.
Reply
 
Share Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 06-06-2012, 09:14 AM   #3326
ssnimrod
Rock God
 
ssnimrod's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Member # 13447
Location: Eastern Empire
Age: 52
Posts: 593
Feedback: 0 reviews
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fnord5 View Post
She isn't carrying it properly.
A 1911 is supposed to be carried "cocked and locked"

Correct, and her belt is far to thin.

Always carry with a good quality 1-3/4" wide belt, cause its going to "ride" down her leg.
ssnimrod is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 06-06-2012, 11:32 AM   #3327
Blackout
Meh
 
Blackout's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Member # 19282
Location: Near ST.Louis
Age: 37
Posts: 2,427
Garage
Feedback: 1 reviews
Quote:
Originally Posted by SoCo_Fox View Post


~SoCo
By far the coolest thing iv seen on this interweb..
You sir are my hero. No homo
__________________
How I LEARNED TO STOP GIVING A SHIT AND LOVE MINDLESS SELF INDULGENCE

It’s time to reevaluate the way we coddle the future generation. Making mistakes and getting hurt is how you grow. Teaching kids to fear Pop Tarts is how you promote xenophobia. Let’s get it together, America.
Blackout is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 06-06-2012, 07:08 PM   #3328
kkuntz01
Rock God
 
kkuntz01's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Member # 8097
Location: Glendale Heights, IL
Age: 40
Posts: 1,842
Feedback: 5 reviews
Quote:
Originally Posted by neoxxis View Post
Is that even a Jeep?

Found the below on the interwebs. Can't vouch for it's validity, but sure makes for a nice story...

Quote:
Tagline: Merissa Bailey has a bizarre relationship with her 4x4, but insists it's better than any man

Article: Like most women in love, Merissa Bailey can't wait to kiss and cuddle up to her other half. Merissa, 31, doesn't get any affection back because the 'guy" she's in love with is a car.

The promotion manager who's been in a relationship manager with her Cherokee Jeep "Jason" for 10 years, says she could never give him up. Bizarrely, she has penetrative snu snu with the gear stick every day and boasts the car is the best lover she's ever had.

She says: "The snu snu is amazing and I climax every time. I don't wear knickers in the car and when I'm feeling horny, I find a quiet place, park up, and lie face down on the seat and rub myself against the seat covering. It's the best feeling. You can talk to cars and they don't talk argue back."

Merissa is one of a handful of "car lovers," called mechaphiles, and she says her obsession started as a teen. She recalls: "I lost my virginity when I was 16, in a car, and realised I was more turned on by the car. All I could think about was the feel of the leather seat, the steering wheel and touching the gear stick."

Merissa tried dating other boys, but found she couldn't get excited unless they were in a car. By 19, she could no longer fight her urges so, one night, she borrowed her mum's 1975 Beetle.

She says: "I went for a drive and began feeling really aroused. I pulled over into a secluded spot and started caressing the gear stick until I had an orgasm."

Then, in 2000, she bought a second-hand Toyota for €600 and "had snu snu" with it. But it wasn't until she came across a Jeep for sale near her home that she fell in love. Merissa says: "As soon as I laid eyes on Jason, I wanted him. He was [garbled] gold and his interior was strong and [hunky? sorry]. I knew he was The One."

Merissa took out a €4,500 loan to buy the car and has been smitten ever since. She spends half her day in the Jeep and even sleeps in it while working away.

Merissa, from San Diego, USA, says: "I'd rather sleep in Jason than a hotel bed. Some nights, I sit in Jason with a glass of wine. I share any problems with him and I know he listens. We have snu snu every day - I think of the gear stick as his drill. I wrap myself in a towel and have snu snu with it. I love kissing and licking the steering wheel and seat belts. When we drive over speed bumps, I often orgasm."

Merissa hid her urges for years until she decided to see a counsellor. All her friends were settling down and she worried about being different.

She reveals: "I was told I have a condition called objectum sexuality, where people fall in love with objects. Finally, I could share my secret with people who really understand."

Sadly, when Merissa told her friends, most of them shunted her. So she went on mechaphile forums online to meet some like-minded people. She adds: "I do worry about the future. I want to have kids one day - but I can't leave Jason. I worry how hell age - even the slightest scratch has me in tears. but when he's old and rusty, I'll keep him. You can't help who you fall in love with."
__________________
Sure my rig has seen the trail, but I wheel it like a soccer mom looking for a parking spot at Nordstroms.
kkuntz01 is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 06-06-2012, 10:13 PM   #3329
spillidge
Eh!
 
spillidge's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Member # 4205
Location: Vancouver BC
Age: 33
Posts: 2,829
Feedback: 0 reviews
Who names their kid merrisa? No wonder she fucks jeeps
spillidge is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 06-06-2012, 10:41 PM   #3330
Dancin Dan
Banned
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Member # 3812
Location: Locked in a basement
Posts: 16,559
Feedback: 0 reviews
Quote:
Originally Posted by kaptkrappy View Post
"She reveals: "I was told I have a condition called objectum sexuality, where people fall in love with objects. Finally, I could share my secret with people who really understand."

Sadly, when Merissa told her friends, most of them shunted her. So she went on mechaphile forums online to meet some like-minded people. She adds: "I do worry about the future. I want to have kids one day - but I can't leave Jason (her Jeep Cherokee). I worry how he'll age - even the slightest scratch has me in tears. but when he's old and rusty, I'll keep him. You can't help who you fall in love with."


There really is a FORUM for everything !
.
Well fuck you for not making that a link. Thought I was gonna learn something. Dick:

Quote:
Originally Posted by kkuntz01 View Post


Dude, you have no idea how appropriate that is right now. Know what's more dangerous than a company that's "too big to fail"?

The too big to fail company FAILING and filing a ch11 bk, which gives them immunity to lawsuits. Imagine the abuses if the leashes were off.
Dancin Dan is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 06-07-2012, 04:28 AM   #3331
neoxxis
Rock Gliding Guru
 
neoxxis's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Member # 1211
Location: Sainte-Therese, Qc
Posts: 1,701
Garage
Feedback: 0 reviews




__________________
07 Unlimited Rubi Rescue Green/Auto/pwr
neoxxis is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 06-07-2012, 05:10 AM   #3332
kaptkrappy
Rock God
 
kaptkrappy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Member # 17421
Location: Punta Gorda, FL
Age: 54
Posts: 855
Feedback: 0 reviews
Quote:
Originally Posted by kaptkrappy View Post
"She reveals: "I was told I have a condition called objectum sexuality, where people fall in love with objects. Finally, I could share my secret with people who really understand."

Sadly, when Merissa told her friends, most of them shunted her. So she went on mechaphile forums online to meet some like-minded people. She adds: "I do worry about the future. I want to have kids one day - but I can't leave Jason (her Jeep Cherokee). I worry how he'll age - even the slightest scratch has me in tears. but when he's old and rusty, I'll keep him. You can't help who you fall in love with."


There really is a FORUM for everything !
.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dancin Dan View Post
Well fuck you for not making that a link. Thought I was gonna learn something. Dick:
FIFE (fixed it for everyone) mechaphile forums

,
__________________
2011 JK SPORT
2014 Hemi Compass


Quote:
Originally Posted by ASSFROW View Post
That's Daffy, not Donald you dillweed. Get your meat wackin' ducks straight!!
kaptkrappy is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 06-08-2012, 06:57 AM   #3333
Grimscale
Granite Guru
 
Join Date: May 2009
Member # 4676
Location: Rochester, NY
Age: 44
Posts: 369
Feedback: 0 reviews
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fnord5 View Post
She isn't carrying it properly.
A 1911 is supposed to be carried "cocked and locked"
wanna bet there isn't even one in the chamber.



amateurs!
Grimscale is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 06-08-2012, 07:29 AM   #3334
ssnimrod
Rock God
 
ssnimrod's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Member # 13447
Location: Eastern Empire
Age: 52
Posts: 593
Feedback: 0 reviews
Quote:
Originally Posted by Grimscale View Post
wanna bet there isn't even one in the chamber.



amateurs!
Then its just a really expensive club
ssnimrod is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 06-08-2012, 07:30 AM   #3335
FosDad
Granite Guru
 
FosDad's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Member # 13420
Location: Draper, UT
Age: 37
Posts: 150
Feedback: 0 reviews
Quote:
Originally Posted by Grimscale View Post
wanna bet there isn't even one in the chamber.



amateurs!
Probably not as most open carry laws do not allow one to be in the chamber.
FosDad is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 06-08-2012, 07:43 AM   #3336
SoCo_Fox
Rocket Surgeon
 
SoCo_Fox's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Member # 12191
Location: Houston, Texas
Posts: 4,497
Feedback: 0 reviews


~SoCo
__________________
In the next millennium, I'll still be Old School.
SoCo_Fox is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 06-08-2012, 07:58 AM   #3337
thaduke2003
JKO Addict!
 
thaduke2003's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Member # 4027
Location: Upstate NY (I'm back, baby! :))
Age: 30
Posts: 2,135
Feedback: 1 reviews
^ FUCKING AWESOME- Mark W.
__________________
Back in a '94 YJ! Well, after I sink $$$$ into it...
thaduke2003 is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 06-08-2012, 07:59 AM   #3338
Rtone1583
Wheeler
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Member # 22096
Location: Wyoming
Posts: 15
Feedback: 0 reviews
@ SoCo - I think if he ever does anything to lose you he should be taken out an flogged for general purposes. That is one hell of a gift!
Rtone1583 is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 06-08-2012, 08:24 AM   #3339
SoCo_Fox
Rocket Surgeon
 
SoCo_Fox's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Member # 12191
Location: Houston, Texas
Posts: 4,497
Feedback: 0 reviews
I found it on the internet. It wasn't mine. Thought it was pretty brilliant, though, and that you all would like it.

~SoCo
__________________
In the next millennium, I'll still be Old School.
SoCo_Fox is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 06-08-2012, 11:47 AM   #3340
prazbotta
Rock God
 
prazbotta's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2010
Member # 9287
Location: Roulette, PA
Age: 37
Posts: 1,221
Garage
Feedback: 0 reviews
Just found this again....... not sure if there is an update:

Quote:
The Code of Men.

I cannot take credit for this masterwork. I am not sure how many legions of brave men died writing this. It first appeared in Maxim, the best magazine ever written. It was sent to me by the very manly Tian Tang of Arizona State University.


Thou shall not rent Chocolat

Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his fellow partygoers.

When you are queried by a buddy’s wife, girlfriend, mother, father, priest, shrink, dentist, accountant, or dog walker, you need not and should not provide any useful information whatsoever as to his whereabouts. You are permitted to deny his very existence.

Unless he murdered someone in your immediate family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

You may exaggerate any anecdote told in a bar by 50% without recrimination; beyond that, anyone within earshot is allowed to call “Bullshit!” Exception: When trying to pick up a girl, the allowable exaggeration rate rises to 400%

If you’ve known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off-limits forever.

The minimum amount of time you have to wait for another guy who’s running late is 5 minutes. For a girl, you are required to wait 10 minutes for every point of hotness she scores on the classic 1-10 scale.

Bitching about the brand of free beer in a buddies refrigerator is forbidden. You may gripe if the temperature is unsuitable.

No man is ever required to buy a birthday present for another man. (In fact, even remembering a friend’s birthday is strictly optional.)

Agreeing to distract the ugly friend of a hot babe your buddy is trying to hook up with is your legal duty. Should you get carried away with your good deed and end up having sex with the beast, your pal is forbidden to speak of it, even at your bachelor party.

Before dating a buddies ex, you are required to ask his permission; and he, in return is required to grant it.

Women who claim they “love to watch sports” must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to pick a buffalo wing clean.

If a man’s zipper is down, that’s his problem — you didn’t see nothin’.

The universal compensation for buddies who help you move is beer.

Your girlfriend must bond with your buddies’ girlfriends within 30 minutes of meeting them. You are not required to make nice with her gal pals (significant dick-heads — low level sports bonding) is all the law requires.

When stumbling upon other guys watching a sports event, you may always ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who’s playing.

When your girlfriend/wife expresses a desire to fix her whiney friend with your pal, you may give her the go-ahead only if you’ll be able to warn your buddy and give him time prepare excuses about joining the priesthood.

It is permissible to consume a fruity chick drink only when you’re sunning on a tropical beach. And it’s delivered by a topless supermodel. And it’s free.

Unless you’re in prison, never fight naked.

A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.

If a buddy is outnumbered, outmanned, or too drunk to fight, you must jump into the fight. Exception: If within the last 24 hours his actions have caused you to think “What this guy needs is a good ass-whoopin,” you may sit back and enjoy.

Friends don’t let friends wear speedos. Ever. Issue closed.

Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while weight lifting: “Yeah, baby, push it!” “C’mon, give me one more!” “Harder!” “Another set and we can hit the showers.” “Nice ass, are you a Sagittarius?”

Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both. That’s just plain mean.

If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you’d better be referring to his beer.

Never join your girlfriend/wife in dissing a buddy, except when she’s withholding sex pending your response.

Never talk to a man in the bathroom unless you’re on equal footing: both urinating, both waiting in line. In all other situations, a nod is all the conversation you need.

If a buddy is already singing along to a song in the car, you may not join him ... too gay.

Before allowing drunken friend to cheat on his girl, you must attempt one intervention. If he is able to get on his feet, look you in the eye, and deliver a “Fuck off!” You are absolved of your of responsibility.

The morning after you and a babe who was formerly “just a friend” have carnal, drunken monkey sex, the fact that you’re feeling weird and guilty is no reason not to nail her again before the discussion about what a big mistake it was.

In Black Jack, always split aces and eights. No arguments.
__________________
Every man should be able to use his hands to fight his way to his knife, his knife to his sidearm, his sidearm to his rifle, his rifle to freedom, and skip steps whenever possible.

--I don't know who said that
prazbotta is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 06-08-2012, 01:59 PM   #3341
ms5490renegade
Rock God
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Member # 8308
Location: indianapolis
Age: 24
Posts: 623
Feedback: 0 reviews




Sent via row boat
__________________
check my site out
http://www.amway.com/ms5490renegade
ms5490renegade is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 06-08-2012, 02:06 PM   #3342
Dancin Dan
Banned
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Member # 3812
Location: Locked in a basement
Posts: 16,559
Feedback: 0 reviews
Quote:
Originally Posted by SoCo_Fox View Post
EPIC ZOMBIE KIT FOR KIDS~SoCo
Feckin awesome!
Dancin Dan is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 06-08-2012, 02:13 PM   #3343
Dancin Dan
Banned
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Member # 3812
Location: Locked in a basement
Posts: 16,559
Feedback: 0 reviews
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rtone1583 View Post
@ SoCo - I think if he ever does anything to lose you he should be taken out an flogged for general purposes. That is one hell of a gift!
Uhm...

Quote:
Originally Posted by SoCo_Fox View Post
I found it on the internet. It wasn't mine. Thought it was pretty brilliant, though, and that you all would like it.
~SoCo
And no rebuttal about SoCo being into man ass. ok then.

Dancin Dan is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 06-08-2012, 05:24 PM   #3344
prazbotta
Rock God
 
prazbotta's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2010
Member # 9287
Location: Roulette, PA
Age: 37
Posts: 1,221
Garage
Feedback: 0 reviews
__________________
Every man should be able to use his hands to fight his way to his knife, his knife to his sidearm, his sidearm to his rifle, his rifle to freedom, and skip steps whenever possible.

--I don't know who said that
prazbotta is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 06-08-2012, 05:35 PM   #3345
SoCo_Fox
Rocket Surgeon
 
SoCo_Fox's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Member # 12191
Location: Houston, Texas
Posts: 4,497
Feedback: 0 reviews
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dancin Dan View Post
Uhm...



And no rebuttal about SoCo being into man ass. ok then.

LOL. I didn't read it that way. Some guy made it for his kid, I read that post as saying I made it for my son. The first place your mind went was "man ass"?

~SoCo
__________________
In the next millennium, I'll still be Old School.
SoCo_Fox is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 06-08-2012, 06:46 PM   #3346
jacktuttle
Rock God
 
jacktuttle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Member # 1772
Location: Fullerton, CA
Age: 57
Posts: 1,288
Garage
Feedback: 0 reviews
Post I did not know this ...

I did not know this ...

When you drink vodka over ice, it can give you kidney failure.
When you drink rum over ice, it can give you liver failure.
When you drink whiskey over ice, it can give you heart Problems.
When you drink gin over ice, it can give you brain problems.

Apparently, ice is really bad for you.

Warn all your friends.
__________________
Paved Roads - Another Fine Example of Unnecessary Government Waste!
Modes - 3.5" Lift - Steel Jeep Bumper with Winch. Body Armor 4x4 Rear Bumper and Rock Sliders. - Hard Top painted White to repel the HEAT! - Ham\CB Radio - A few dents and Scratches John Bull Mod to Front & Rear Diff Covers. Woods Steering Stabilizer Relocation Bracket. Off-road Front, Rear and Rock Lights, Rear CAM, On Board Air.
jacktuttle is online now   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 06-08-2012, 09:15 PM   #3347
prazbotta
Rock God
 
prazbotta's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2010
Member # 9287
Location: Roulette, PA
Age: 37
Posts: 1,221
Garage
Feedback: 0 reviews
__________________
Every man should be able to use his hands to fight his way to his knife, his knife to his sidearm, his sidearm to his rifle, his rifle to freedom, and skip steps whenever possible.

--I don't know who said that
prazbotta is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 06-10-2012, 02:01 AM   #3348
TEXASKEV
Official Monkey Business
 
TEXASKEV's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Member # 112
Location: Denton Tejas
Posts: 11,396
Garage
Feedback: 0 reviews
^HA! Funny


__________________
08 2Door Red Rubicon. Rock Krawler 5.5 Longarm Coilover, Polly rear Coilovers. AEV hood & wheels, 37"KM2s, JE Reel 1350 shafts, 5.38 Yukon gears, Superior axles, Shrockworks stubby, Fab Fours rear, sPod, Rebel Offroad brakes, Warn winch and lots more.
My RK Long Arm Coilover Build Pics
Rock Krawler Suspensions
TEXASKEV is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 06-10-2012, 04:57 AM   #3349
Suffolk JK
Rock God
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Member # 7038
Location: Long Island, NY
Age: 30
Posts: 1,896
Feedback: 0 reviews
LOL!! That is funnY!! ^

SHIT, I'm on the next page...
__________________
2008 JK X 2DR NSG370

Time to build the TONS!

Long Island Off Road Club http://www.liorclub.org/
http://liorclub.org/Members/dimi.html
NOVA4x4 http://www.nova4x4.org/phpBB/index.php

Quote:
Originally Posted by jester116th View Post
Confucius say "If you no want break axle, Drive with BIG head not LITTLE head"
Suffolk JK is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 06-10-2012, 09:09 AM   #3350
Abacabb
JKO Addict!
 
Abacabb's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Member # 11755
Location: Fishersville, VA
Posts: 2,099
Feedback: 1 reviews
__________________

2012 Jeep Wrangler - Gecko
3.5" Rock Krawler X Factor
40x13.5 Nitto Mud Grapplers / 17" Fuel Hostage
Poison Spyder Brawler Lite / Poison Spyder Rocker Knockers
Poison Spyder RockBrawler w/ Tire Carrier





Quote:
Originally Posted by 2k2wranglerx View Post
and yet... canada still sucks worse

we'd make fun of your prime minister if we could... unfortunately nobody's ever heard of him!
Abacabb is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the JKowners.com : Jeep Wrangler JK Forum forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 05:28 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.6
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.