Hilarious! Nailed it! - JKowners.com : Jeep Wrangler JK Forum
 
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post #1 of 20 Old 04-03-2008, 09:34 AM Thread Starter
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Hilarious! Nailed it!

How To Shower Like a Woman:

Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.

Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.

If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.

Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.

Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.

Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with rea l passion fruit.

Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red..

Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.

Rinse conditioner off hair.

Shave armpits and legs.

Turn off shower.

Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.

Spray mold spots with Tilex.

Get out of shower and stand on bath mat.

Dry with towel the size of a small country.

Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.

If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.




How To Shower Like a Man:

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.

Walk naked to the bathroom.

If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo' sound.

Look at your manly physique in the mirror.

Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your ass.

Get in the shower Wash your face. Wash your armpits.

Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.

Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.

Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.

Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.

Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Pee.

Rinse off and get out of shower. Avoid bath mat.

Dry off forearms and butt only.

Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.

Admire wiener size in mirror again. Shake it to watch water fly off.

Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.

Return to bedroom with towel around waist..

If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo' sound again.

Throw wet towel on bed.




If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something so very wrong with you.
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post #2 of 20 Old 04-03-2008, 11:21 AM
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something so very wrong with you.
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After 38 years of marriage,...you indeed nailed it... & yes, I laughed the whole way through it.

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post #3 of 20 Old 04-03-2008, 12:10 PM
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lol, good one. And yes, I did laugh the whole way through
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post #4 of 20 Old 04-03-2008, 02:18 PM
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I can relate. woo-woo
post #5 of 20 Old 04-03-2008, 02:39 PM
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I laughed so hard it hurt.
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post #6 of 20 Old 04-03-2008, 03:25 PM
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Oh Yes that is so true

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post #7 of 20 Old 04-04-2008, 06:16 AM Thread Starter
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Every time I go to shower, I have to grab a bottle and check the label to make sure it's shampoo, there's probably 15 bottles at any given time, and I always get yelled at about the towel on the bed. hahaha
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post #8 of 20 Old 04-04-2008, 07:28 AM
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Originally Posted by C-rog View Post
Every time I go to shower, I have to grab a bottle and check the label to make sure it's shampoo, there's probably 15 bottles at any given time, and I always get yelled at about the towel on the bed. hahaha
LOL, same for me! We have all sorts of crap and god forbid I use the expensive “Australian Mango/lime Kangaroo for colored hair with highlights deep tissue conditioning” shampoo on my balding head. I get in trouble for using that when I run out of the cheap stuff she gets me
post #9 of 20 Old 04-04-2008, 08:32 AM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by Alec W View Post
LOL, same for me! We have all sorts of crap and god forbid I use the expensive “Australian Mango/lime Kangaroo for colored hair with highlights deep tissue conditioning” shampoo on my balding head. I get in trouble for using that when I run out of the cheap stuff she gets me
even if they see you reading the label, they open the door and say, give-me-that-that's-your-bottle-there and point at the one that says k-mart shampoo.
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post #10 of 20 Old 04-04-2008, 09:20 AM
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even if they see you reading the label, they open the door and say, give-me-that-that's-your-bottle-there and point at the one that says k-mart shampoo.
Yep, dollar stuff works great, but don't make the mistake of buying the "Peach or Strawberry" fragents, because as soon as you enter work, you've got a few guy's looking at you with those sweet loving eye's.


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post #11 of 20 Old 04-04-2008, 09:27 AM
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So true & funny
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post #12 of 20 Old 04-04-2008, 11:36 AM
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even if they see you reading the label, they open the door and say, give-me-that-that's-your-bottle-there and point at the one that says k-mart shampoo.
You get K-Mart shampoo? My wife buys me Simple Green.
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post #13 of 20 Old 04-04-2008, 11:50 AM
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You get K-Mart shampoo? My wife buys me Simple Green.
Mine gets me whatever is on sale I think.

My wife hides the cost of her stuff by bundling it in when she goes to a salon (salon translates to dollar cuts for men). I swear she can run up over $100 easy with one trip to the salon.


Phil, no comments from you? What type of shampoo do you use?
post #14 of 20 Old 04-04-2008, 12:32 PM Thread Starter
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Mine gets me whatever is on sale I think.

My wife hides the cost of her stuff by bundling it in when she goes to a salon (salon translates to dollar cuts for men). I swear she can run up over $100 easy with one trip to the salon.


Phil, no comments from you? What type of shampoo do you use?

exactly I've never come out of a barber shop with grocery bag full of stuff.

I guess I've never spent 80.00 to get my hair cut either, I go for the 10.00 or the looks a little long over here... snip! Either way it's lose lose.

Last edited by C-rog; 04-05-2008 at 02:04 PM.
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post #15 of 20 Old 04-04-2008, 04:56 PM
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When I get over to the State's with my wife, god help me, I think the last time she did $200 plus on hair products "because they are cheaper then at home" and don't get me started on make-up

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post #16 of 20 Old 04-11-2008, 01:46 PM
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even better in video!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qehxjub5lyo

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post #17 of 20 Old 04-11-2008, 07:07 PM
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Now that is hilarious.

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But the Marines don't have that problem." ..... Ronald Reagan


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post #18 of 20 Old 04-11-2008, 07:38 PM
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Good stuff. Thanks.
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post #19 of 20 Old 04-13-2008, 03:33 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Alec W View Post
LOL, same for me! We have all sorts of crap and god forbid I use the expensive “Australian Mango/lime Kangaroo for colored hair with highlights deep tissue conditioning” shampoo on my balding head. I get in trouble for using that when I run out of the cheap stuff she gets me

My ex girlfriend had so much "stuff" it was like a chemical lab in the bathroom. Death, or at least a severe beating was imminent if I dare use any of them. However my razors were ok for her to use......

I once made the mistake of bringing that to her attention.....and only once.
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post #20 of 20 Old 05-02-2008, 07:27 AM
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Oh come on...not all girls are like that! LOL....but most guys are...
I don't do "leg lifts"....maybe dead lifts...or curls...no I would never make a mental note to do more "leg lifts" lol

Strong women rock!
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